How was the party?"
"Well all the kids laughed at me and called me stupid"
"What?"
"They were laughing at me because I couldn’t roller skate without a skate trainer"
This conversation exchange took place between my wife and son shortly after a roller skating party. (I honestly thought roller skating parties had been banned since the early 90's along with the music of Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer!) As I looked at my wife I saw emotions on her face that included a mixture of anger, fear, and sadness. She looked back at my son and with a tone that cut the air in half she said, "Those boys said what to you?"
In one supernatural move, motivated by a “Mama Bear mentality”, my wife came out of her chair, grabbed her cell phone (which happened to be two rooms away) and returned to her sitting position.
After 11 years of marriage I have learned my roll in these situations. I quietly looked on from a distance! My wife fired up her I phone and began scrolling through her apps. She quickly landed on Facebook. Then like a fresh, warm spring breeze after the dark, cold winter, a moment of clarity hit my wife and she paused.
My wife looked up from her phone, looked at me, and then called our son back into the room.
After further discussion with our son and a close family friend who was also at the party, the reality of the situation was revealed. In actuality my son had not been called stupid at all. He and his friend were laughing at each other as they tried desperately to keep their balance with four orange wheels constantly rotating beneath each foot. They were having fun, laughing and cutting up. Fortunately for us our son does not take himself too seriously and is able at times to laugh at himself.
After dinner that night my wife said to me "Can you imagine what would have happened if I had posted something on Facebook about the party without knowing the truth? What if I had posted that my son came home from this birthday party and said he was called stupid and ridiculed? The way he explained it sounded as if everyone had circled around him and was pointing at him. If I had posted that on Facebook it would have ruined this little boy's party and would have been devastating for their family.
As educators both my wife and I have learned through years of experience the dangers of social media irresponsibility. We have also learned that children's perception of events is not always the reality. We are in a very interesting time in society where anyone with any amount of information can post anything online. Once done, it is out there for the world to judge. Unfortunately our perception is that if it is online it must be true. When in reality many people post half-truths or what they think is true or what their children want them to believe, when what they have been told is a mis-perception.
As children develop they are constantly learning about time and space and discovering their emotional borders. Can you remember your first heart break and the devastation and embarrassment you felt? At the time it may have seemed to last for months when in reality it was only a matter of days until you got over the heartbreak and moved on. As adults we know that what seems like the end of the world is only a blip in time and it is important for us as parents to rise above our own emotions as we help our children respond to challenging relationships and situations. Sometimes that means crying with them when they are hurt, other times it may be helping children take a step back from the situation, pause and find clarity. This also means seeking the truth of a particular circumstance or situation not just your child’s emotional reaction.
Social media can be such a valuable resource for communication and community development when used correctly and responsibly. It can also be so destructive and divisive when used without accurate information or mistaken information. Unfortunately I, like many of you, have seen marriages destroyed and families ripped apart from the misuse of social media. As parents we must learn to use social media responsibly as we model and monitor the best and most positive uses of this resource for our children.
We have a blessed community in Dade County that includes real struggles and challenges. We have families in our community and in our schools who are truly hurting. At Dade Middle School we want to help our families as they strive to grow and become more responsible. In pursuit of this service DMS will be launching Parent University. Parent U will include quarterly meetings where parents are invited to ask questions and provide suggestions in a constructive manner. In addition we want to give parents helpful tools that will enable them to better support their children and our school. It is our goal for Parent U to become an active ingredient in healing some of the brokenness that is within our community.
8:15am - 9:30am OR 6:15 pm - 7:30 pm.
These meetings offer parents a way to make a positive difference in the lives of their children rather than feeling like you have to resort to negative attacks on social media to be heard.
Thank you and thank you for your partnership in helping all of us to grow forward here at DMS.
"Well all the kids laughed at me and called me stupid"
"What?"
"They were laughing at me because I couldn’t roller skate without a skate trainer"
This conversation exchange took place between my wife and son shortly after a roller skating party. (I honestly thought roller skating parties had been banned since the early 90's along with the music of Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer!) As I looked at my wife I saw emotions on her face that included a mixture of anger, fear, and sadness. She looked back at my son and with a tone that cut the air in half she said, "Those boys said what to you?"
In one supernatural move, motivated by a “Mama Bear mentality”, my wife came out of her chair, grabbed her cell phone (which happened to be two rooms away) and returned to her sitting position.
After 11 years of marriage I have learned my roll in these situations. I quietly looked on from a distance! My wife fired up her I phone and began scrolling through her apps. She quickly landed on Facebook. Then like a fresh, warm spring breeze after the dark, cold winter, a moment of clarity hit my wife and she paused.
My wife looked up from her phone, looked at me, and then called our son back into the room.
After further discussion with our son and a close family friend who was also at the party, the reality of the situation was revealed. In actuality my son had not been called stupid at all. He and his friend were laughing at each other as they tried desperately to keep their balance with four orange wheels constantly rotating beneath each foot. They were having fun, laughing and cutting up. Fortunately for us our son does not take himself too seriously and is able at times to laugh at himself.
After dinner that night my wife said to me "Can you imagine what would have happened if I had posted something on Facebook about the party without knowing the truth? What if I had posted that my son came home from this birthday party and said he was called stupid and ridiculed? The way he explained it sounded as if everyone had circled around him and was pointing at him. If I had posted that on Facebook it would have ruined this little boy's party and would have been devastating for their family.
As educators both my wife and I have learned through years of experience the dangers of social media irresponsibility. We have also learned that children's perception of events is not always the reality. We are in a very interesting time in society where anyone with any amount of information can post anything online. Once done, it is out there for the world to judge. Unfortunately our perception is that if it is online it must be true. When in reality many people post half-truths or what they think is true or what their children want them to believe, when what they have been told is a mis-perception.
As children develop they are constantly learning about time and space and discovering their emotional borders. Can you remember your first heart break and the devastation and embarrassment you felt? At the time it may have seemed to last for months when in reality it was only a matter of days until you got over the heartbreak and moved on. As adults we know that what seems like the end of the world is only a blip in time and it is important for us as parents to rise above our own emotions as we help our children respond to challenging relationships and situations. Sometimes that means crying with them when they are hurt, other times it may be helping children take a step back from the situation, pause and find clarity. This also means seeking the truth of a particular circumstance or situation not just your child’s emotional reaction.
Social media can be such a valuable resource for communication and community development when used correctly and responsibly. It can also be so destructive and divisive when used without accurate information or mistaken information. Unfortunately I, like many of you, have seen marriages destroyed and families ripped apart from the misuse of social media. As parents we must learn to use social media responsibly as we model and monitor the best and most positive uses of this resource for our children.
We have a blessed community in Dade County that includes real struggles and challenges. We have families in our community and in our schools who are truly hurting. At Dade Middle School we want to help our families as they strive to grow and become more responsible. In pursuit of this service DMS will be launching Parent University. Parent U will include quarterly meetings where parents are invited to ask questions and provide suggestions in a constructive manner. In addition we want to give parents helpful tools that will enable them to better support their children and our school. It is our goal for Parent U to become an active ingredient in healing some of the brokenness that is within our community.
- Do you want to serve your child in a way instills responsibility and accountability?
- Are you confused about some of the schools policies and procedures?
- Would you like more clarification on school academic and behavior initiatives?
- Do you want to be an agent of healing to our school and community?
8:15am - 9:30am OR 6:15 pm - 7:30 pm.
These meetings offer parents a way to make a positive difference in the lives of their children rather than feeling like you have to resort to negative attacks on social media to be heard.
Thank you and thank you for your partnership in helping all of us to grow forward here at DMS.